I remember too much

I have been trying for so long to leave the destructive nature of myself behind. The simple truth is I cannot. I am destructive and vicious. I want nothing but to leave a path of obliteration behind me. I want to break everything down and stand alone in a field of ash and torn down monuments. I would say that I cannot help it but the truth is that I don't want to help it. I don't want to be other than what I am. I want to be that which casts a shadow over everything you thought you knew. I want to eat your memories and I want spew my bile and acid across your precious few lasting days. That is the little that I want and the most that I will take. Imagine this: a world in which my shadow will remain for all your lasting minutes a blight upon all that is holy and remembered by your life. Taste this bitter ash and wonder what would have become if only I had wanted for the light.